Niemz
Administrator 
NHC: President
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Posts: 5,071
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Post by Niemz on Jun 12, 2009 21:18:47 GMT -6
Know any good jokes?
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Post by earthcrusher on Jun 13, 2009 20:28:17 GMT -6
A turtle got mugged by two snails. The cop said "What happened??" The Turtle said, " I dont know it all happened so fast!"
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Decind
Professional 
NHC: Vice President
Posts: 1,417
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Post by Decind on Jun 28, 2009 8:56:06 GMT -6
Wow.  |
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Post by earthcrusher on Jun 28, 2009 17:41:46 GMT -6
A snail was riding on a turtles back shouting out WWWWWHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
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demsul
Professional
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Posts: 3,107
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Post by demsul on Jun 29, 2009 11:58:30 GMT -6
TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FAMILY IS STRESSED…
10. Conversations often begin with “Put the gun down, and then we can talk”.
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. “Family meetings” are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kid’s day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
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demsul
Professional
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Posts: 3,107
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Post by demsul on Jul 2, 2009 5:22:20 GMT -6
I WANT ONE OF THESE!!!!  |
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demsul
Professional
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Posts: 3,107
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Post by demsul on Jul 3, 2009 5:35:47 GMT -6
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in front of a Huge Crowd. The speaker and his Holiness, however, have seen it all before. To make it a little more interesting, the speaker says to the Pope. "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat in the crowd GO WILD."
He doubts it so she shows him, sure enough the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.
The POPE, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do. "That was very impressive", the POPE says, "But did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."
Pelosi seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever? SHOW ME."
SO THE POPE SLAPPED HER.
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Post by earthcrusher on Jul 4, 2009 16:44:10 GMT -6
Good one!
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demsul
Professional
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Posts: 3,107
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Post by demsul on Jul 28, 2009 4:51:55 GMT -6
A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border.
"May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent.
"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.
"Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent.
"But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on the other."
"This I gotta see," replied the agent.
With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind.
"By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have a safe trip back to Chicago .."
"Thanks!" he said. "But how did you know I was from Chicago ?"
The agent replied, "I recognized Obama in the middle."
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Decind
Professional
NHC: Vice President
Posts: 1,417
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Post by Decind on Jul 28, 2009 4:58:11 GMT -6
Hee-hee. Nice.
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Post by earthcrusher on Jul 29, 2009 21:03:44 GMT -6
AWESOME!! LMFAO!
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demsul
Professional
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Posts: 3,107
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Post by demsul on Aug 16, 2009 9:30:19 GMT -6
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Kitty
Administrator
Posts: 87
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Post by Kitty on Sept 6, 2012 1:04:16 GMT -6
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Kitty
Administrator
Posts: 87
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Post by Kitty on Sept 7, 2012 17:42:03 GMT -6
A snail was riding on a turtles back shouting out WWWWWHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Ok, had to add this   |
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Decind
Professional
NHC: Vice President
Posts: 1,417
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Post by Decind on Sept 8, 2012 11:20:55 GMT -6
You might encourage him to start posting again. Good job.
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